Sleigh Bells Ring... Are You Listening?

I love Christmas! It's just delightful, really. I love the songs, the mood, the smells, the laughs. I love Christmas.

Honestly, this year involved less contemplation of the wonder of Christ's birth than years past. It's just been this really weird combination of busy and slow that has not allowed a lot of time to sit and think. I don't even know how to explain it. While I have not spent as much time pondering Christ's arrival on earth, it has been a Christmas full of thinking about the kind of person I do and do not want to be. In the past week, I have thought a lot about what it really means to live a life worthy. I certainly do not feel up to the challenge. But, one-two-three, deep breath, and we dive right back into this crazy thing called living.

One of the biggest goals that I have for my life is to learn to relate to all types of people, to love them for the good qualities that they have, and to learn never to think of myself as better than anyone else. I am not better than anyone else. Any talents or success that I possess are gifts from God. I do hope the Lord will grind that truth into my very being. If I could, in a lifetime, learn to LOVE like the Lord wants me to love, I would just be happy as a lark.

Little steps toward big goals, right? I have been paying extra attention of late to how I process my interactions with others. I have been catching the hints of I've-got-it-all-together in me and smashing them to the ground.

The irony of it all is that King Jesus, who had no need to be humble, showed great humility while I, who has every need to be humble, show little humility. Teach me to love with Your love, Abba, and to remember that "all that I am, I owe to Thee."

Mexico?

Christmas is near! It's super exciting to be home. I must admit, though, I think home shows me more of my sin than anywhere else. My mom asked me to do the dishes tonight, and I found my heart grumbling. The dishes! They take twenty minutes and I have nothing I have to do! It's good to be reminded of how hopeless I am to be righteous on my own, I suppose!

Well, I have a BIG prayer request.

I have to pray about it a lot more, but it is possible that the Lord wants me to go back to Acapulco this summer. PLEASE pray for me, for wisdom and direction. I wrote it off a long time ago as "not the right use of money" and just plain not a possibility, but the Lord has been laying on my heart to pray about it a lot more.

PLEASE PRAY!

Regroup

One of the wonderful privileges of college is, unlike working full time, it provides nice breaks several times a year. Granted, the largest one of those (summer) is usually occupied with a full time job. Still, I love it. I really hope this upcoming break will give ample time to reflect, refresh, enjoy my family, and (maybe) get a little job searching done.

I am sitting in my apartment living room right now. The whole apartment is pretty clean and tidy. I spent this evening hanging out with my beloved roommate, Bethany, who is graduated! So sad! I will miss her dearly. The dear girl surprised me when I got home with a Java Chip Frapaccino, my favorite, and a sweet Christmas gift. Then, we played two rounds of Scrabble. It's been a wonderful last night together.

Now, as the caffeine from the frapaccino (or excitement) keeps me awake, I am just marveling over God's faithfulness. The heater is humming and I just feel this incredible peace. God is so generous and kind to me. He has blessed me so much. I have just a million thoughts I could share, but I guess this is my main thought tonight: He loves us, oh how He loves us - how great His affections are for us.

3 miles!

Woot woot! Guess who ran three miles today?! It was on a treadmill, so no hills involved. Still! I'm proud.

I picked my corner treadmill. I really do like it. It's tucked away far away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the work out room, with a clear view out the windows. The sky today was a blue so crisp you could almost taste the cold air. There was a big, fat robin sitting on the tree right outside my window, too. I shook my head in pity; it was cold out! The robin is typically the promise of spring, but in the case probably the remnant of this year's long-extended nice weather.

As I ran and thought about the promise robins signify, I thought about God's promises of hope to come. God sends me reminders of His promises often, little robins in a world whose cold winter wind can bite. A promise that the Savior will return and I will be caught up in the air to meet Him. A promise that my sins are covered, that I am redeemed. A promise that death has no sting, that to live is Christ and to die is gain. A promise that my future is secure. A promise that He will never leave me. A promise of heaven.

Well, as you can probably tell, I thoroughly enjoyed the [unchanging] scenery during my run. I went in spurts of telling myself "one foot in front of the other" and talking with the Lord--hopefully someday I will be in shape enough that I can focus more on praying. :) Someday.

I am Free, But...

I am just going to leave us with a verse today. I think it speaks for itself.

"Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.... I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessing. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way as to get the prize.... Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body, and make it my slave so that after I have preach to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

Parts of 1 Corinthians 9

Expel the Immoral Brother

I have been reading in 1 Corinthians of late, and a passage that really has stirred up thought is 1 Corinthians 5. It talks about Christian brothers who refuse to repent of sin and how if they continue to refuse to repent they must be expelled from the church. The hardest part for me comes in the last verse where Paul directs the congregation not to associate with that man, or even eat with them.

It is hard for me to imagine actually having to cease associating with someone I loved. We had a speaker come into one of my classes the other day that (as a side note) talked about his theory that if someone remains unrepentant long term, they were not a Christian in the first place and you can begin to re-associate with them and evangelize. Still, that is so hard!

So then, last night, I talked about a lot of this with Josh. While I was falling asleep later, I also wondered: Is my biggest struggle with this possibly because I do not have enough love for God in comparison to how much I love people? The first commandment is to love the Lord your God will all that your are, and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. I wonder: do I sometimes (still) replace passion and love of my GOD with love for the lost?

This story that God is writing is not mainly about the people, it is about the merciful and holy God. God is the one that is supposed to drive all I do. I am supposed to be "zealous for the fear of the Lord." (Proverbs 23:17) DO I (ULTIMATELY) LOVE GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE? I certainly want to. Am I ready to give up all of the ones I love dearly, Christian and non-Christian to the service of His glory, come whatever cost? I do not think that I am really ready. I struggle when He lets loved ones suffer, and when He lets people die that I know are not saved. Father, help me! Help me understand this strange combination of loving those around me, but loving You most... and wanting You to be glorified.

Can loving people be an idol? Yeah. How do we even do this? We can't. We need "The Helper" (as Dr. Ward reminded us yesterday) - the Spirit. Send the Helper!

Big thoughts. Few answers.

Countdown: 3!

Today is just a life update, nothing profound! :)

Three full days until I leave for home! I am just so excited to see all of my family!!! This break has a little extra special tidbit to it: Josh is coming home with me. I am just so excited to be able to show him where I grew up and became who I am. (It's actually probably a little pathetic how excited I am!)

God is doing cool stuff around here. Our women's retreat seems to be one of many ways God is bringing up and dealing with issues on our campus. It has been incredibly to see the people who are rising up and pushing things even further. We're organizing several "Girl Talks" for the semester. Girl Talk has been done before and it is a panel discussion on a lot of issues that face women on campus: sexuality and related issues,family issues, and coping issues. I could tell you a lot more, but long story short: God is getting His people to admit their struggles and be real and honest with each other! Our hope is that He will transform Covenant into a place where sin and pain can be freely discussed and we all can be supported and held accountable in our fight against it! PLEASE pray for this movement. Pray that God would help us make wise decisions and that He would bring a lot of healing as well as help us deal with the sin involved.

Whew, passion explosion! I get excited about that. God has also been teaching me a lot in my relationship with Josh- a lot about my sin and shortcomings. It has also been a huge encouragement.

I have (not unusually) also been a little under-the-weather, but it's all looking up. Speaking of looking up, I'm still working on memorizing Colossians 3. Check it out :)

Non-entitlement

This is just going to be a short blurb of thought, one which I am sure many of you have heard me talk about of late. It's totally worth re-sharing though!

I have been reading through a short 30-day devotional on Philippians by the president of MTW (while his name is Dutch, I'm still scared to spell it.) The first devotional in there speaks about Paul's introduction of himself in the beginning of his letter as simply a "servant (slave) of Christ Jesus." After some other insights, Mr. K asks a question, "How does Paul's sense of non-entitlement to his own life affect his joy?" BAM! It hit April. Non-entitlement to my own life. Why do I still not get that? I have this persistent sense that I am entitled to a relatively smooth and comfortable existence. No. Life is NOT about me. "Since then you have been raised with Christ," says Paul, "Set your minds on things above." (Col. 3:1)

Father, teach me that my life is not my own, that it was bought with a price. (1 Cor. 6:20) Take away my sense of a right to American-style happiness and comfort. Make me see only Jesus, and give me the joy that that brings.

Asking Hard Questions

One of the prominent themes that the Lord seems to be pushing lately is this: asking hard questions. Recently, I began asking my boyfriend some questions that did not have easy answers or were not particularly fun to talk about. I had not really thought about it, but he thanked me for asking him and asked me to "keep asking hard questions." I've been thinking about that a lot. As Christians, shouldn't we be constantly asking hard questions? Of ourselves... and of our friends.

By hard questions, I mean questions that get at our hearts- that expose our failures and incorrect ways of thinking. Hard questions that lead to better communication within ourselves and between each other. Questions that we know may very likely have answers we will not like.

Pursuing holiness by asking hard questions, and then dealing with the answers- that's the new theme.

Hmmm. Just a thought.

A Letter to My Father

Friday night brought a lot of planning and anticipation to fruition: the women's retreat. God literally started the retreat over coffee one day last year. I was talking and praying with a friend and before you knew it we were planning a conference. God quickly affirmed the tug on our hearts as His tug by backing our retreat with (unrequested) funding from our Student Development Office. Half a year later, the retreat happened. In many regards, it was different from what I envisioned-but God did exactly what He wanted to.

The following is an expert from some journaling I did over my Saturday morning devotion time. Some of the inspiration comes from a poem written by Professor Halstrom, which was based on several passages of Scripture that I love. My writing mostly comes out of the concepts from the book of Hosea.

Abba,

It's Saturday morning and you are the life giver. Life-giver, provider, Father, lover. who knew so much good could be found so perfectly combined in You? You are my Father, and I see it in your provision, so constant and trustworthy. You are my Father and I see it too in what You take away, knowing what is good for me. You are my Father--directing, guiding, and promising to always be here.

And You are my lover. Oh Lord, how long was I So uncomfortable with that image. Imagine that God would know me in such away... so intimately, on such a level. But I am the bride of Christ. What made You stop to look at me? Filthy, unfaithful, haughty--yet desperate. But You noticed me- You stopped. You saw the beauty that I could have been, had I stayed untainted, as You had made me. You chose to have compassion on a whore.

I had run from You, turned to all other lovers for comfort-finding nothing but short term pleasure that turned into long term desolation. I was so dirty. But You already knew it all- You were not fooled by the weak smile I flashed at others, or the way I tried to cover my pain by chasing after lovers like popularity, academic prestige, male attention, or worldly success and respect of my elders. Even the deceitful, tricky lover of the security that comes from being seeing as a spiritual person with the right life and a bright future- oh that left me dirty.

You saw through the guise, but you did not despise the dirty, broken, messy room that is my heart. You knew the room. You made the room- You saw its potential. You TOLD me I was dirty, even helpless. You showed me my need. You told me I only needed to admit my need, and You would save me. I said those words, "I need you" -- and you swept my heart clean. You rearranged it. You cleaned the windows, scrubbed the floor- You scrubbed until your hands bled... and so did the rest of You.

Now I am clean. The beauty You made shines forth in the room of my heart. It is arranged with your expertise, my life situations and desires arranged as You pleased. You hung new art upon its walls, giving me new passions and gifts. It sparkles with life. And You, You LOVED me-- as a lover does. You took me as Your own, for that is what I was, and You spoke tenderly to me. You forgave me my fickleness, my unfaithful past.

And, again I ran away. I ran back to other lovers. Discontent with your affection and even your perfection, and SO proud, thinking I knew best. My other loves came back and quickly tore apart what You had done; I lay in shambled, used, broken. They took what they wanted and left me, garbage. My self-esteem they took as well. "I'm worthless, ugly. I am discontent." And still I pursued every lover but You. I was ashamed--I once again forgot that only You had the remedy--that you WERE the Remedy. I was ashamed for You to know I struggle with sexual purity , that deceit is so often on my lips, You knew the secret pain I could no assuage. I hurt, but I wanted to be strong.

You told me I was wrong. But You took me back. You washed me. Again. You called me more than lover, You called me wife. You chose to love me, and You promised me forever.

Teach me to love You as my lover, my Father, my friend, my Life.

Leadership

One of my dear friends, Ben Scott, invested much of his time over the last year planning a conference on leadership for Covenant College. He was so excited to present the school with the opportunity to hear about leadership and what it looks like in "the real world." Along with other students, the Student Senate, and members of the faculty, Ben brought in a Christian leader from the political scene as well as a Christian leader from within the Christian school community.

Before the conference began, a man in our Sunday school brought up a point. Shouldn't we, he posed, call something to this effect a "Servant Conference." Leadership has such a secular connotation. Leadership is not what we're after.

I beg to differ. Romans 12:8 encourages those who have the gift of leadership to govern diligently. While being a servant is a clear part of how Jesus modeled leadership, it is still leadership.

While true Christian leadership does require the characteristics of a servant, it requires much more. It does not have to (and should not) follow secular guidelines of power and lust for personal gain. At the same time, it does require influence, not just servant hood. Perhaps our Sunday school friend was simply attempting to escape from the wrong definition the world has given to leadership by running away from the term completely. Let's not get SO caught up in avoiding the world's pit falls that we unnecessarily go to the opposite extreme. Completely staying away from the term "leadership" and going to "servant" is a mistake. The truth is, "servant leadership" is the most accurate way to describe the Bible's outlook.

While there is so much more to be said about what leadership is biblically, the real thought that sparked this post is this: Not everyone is meant to be a leader. Leadership is (as Romans 12 notes) a gift given to specific people. Even just from a logical standpoint, if we ask all people to be leaders, who will be left to be led?

Merriam-Webster describes a leader as "a person who has commanding authority or influence" and to lead as "to guide on a way especially by going in advance." Leadership usually tends to involve being in authority or at the very least influencing. (Christ was both in authority and influencing the people around him, guiding.)

One of the conference speakers (and forgive me, I forget who) noted that some people are leading in official roles (captain of the soccer team, class president, etc.) while others are leading just a few people in the context of friendships and relationships. This idea seems to be an easier way to allow for every Christian as a "leader".

To teach every person in a college about leadership is certainly advantageous. When opportunity presents itself, then they will be equipped to step up and take the lead if necessary. To present "leadership" as the ideal role for every Christian, however, is something completely different. Leadership is a gift, a gift that has changed history. However, leadership is not the gift given to every Christian.

Question of the day: What is the balance between encouraging such a wonderful gift and remembering that someone has to follow the leader?

This concludes "disorganized food for thought" (my specialty) brought to you by April Hoekstra. :)

A Lazy Saturday

It has probably been about three months since the words "lazy" and "Saturday" could go together in the same sentence. It's wonderful. I had no "to do" list when I got up this morning. Of course, I have been getting things done, but in a comfortable, relieving pace. How good is it! Even the week ahead looks to be comfortably busy.What a nice change!

One of the themes of life lately, the tidbit that the Lord has constantly been re-reminding me of is this: the Christian life is hard. There is not a magic point I reach where I completely "get it" and have no struggles. It will be a constant battle against sin. Sometimes, it's a tiring thought. I was talking with Josh early this morning, and I was struck by a thought: the harder you run a race, the more difficult it is-- but the faster it goes. I want to push hard, to run as if to win the prize.

Allow me to sidetrack from that thought for one minute. I have also, this year, really experienced a longing for heaven like never before. It is not at all that I am not loving life; I am so blessed and having so much fun. But I really just long to be face to face with my Savior. I'm homesick.

Back to the original thought. This morning, thinking about running hard verses running lazily, I wondered if I could not take the analogy of the Christian life as a race a step further. I have a feeling that heaven will come a lot "quicker" (or at least feel like it) if I run hard. I want to push myself, with the Spirit's help, to really live a life worthy. I want to fight my sin with all that is in me. I want to be courageous in my interactions with and endeavors in the world. I'm learning.

God, give me the strength to run hard.

Individual

Tonight I am struck by the individual
The individual
Composed of so many facets
A lone flower in a field of flowers,
Petals arrayed with what appears only slight difference

And yet each is a unique combination
Family, personality, tendencies, thoughts
Smile, aura, complexion, experience, dreams

The individual: unintentionally and irrevocably distinct
Original despite attempts to assimilate, to join the status quo
An integral part of what is and what has been and what will be

The individual,
Meant to thrive,
To thrive in the context of the collective
Meant to be appreciated
To be appreciated in the midst of a story that we call Time
Meant to know
The Author of Time.

He made you so beautiful, individual.

A Foggy Day

Well, the foggy days have begun! This morning was drizzling and foggy. I decided to cheer up the day with a bright-red rain coat.

Church was wonderful. In Sunday school, we talked when God commanded Abraham to sacrifice his only son. It was so cool just to revisit the story, to feel the power and intensity of it. I often forget how many parallels there are to Christ's sacrifice. It is so moving to realize the incredible love that it takes to sacrifice your only son. I am not in the most eloquent of moods, so I cannot adequately communicate the half of what I've thought about today.

The general update: life is good, God is faithful.

Blonde Moment!

I thought I would give a little laugh for you all!

So, our right sink in our apartment bathroom has always been slow to drain, but we've never bothered to get it fixed. Then yesterday, the tub starts filling up while I am in the shower. Of course, I determined it must be that the pipes in general just need unclogging. So, I submitted a work request for it to be fixed.

Later that night, Hannah yells from the bathroom and informs me that it was just that the drain pull was pulled shut.

Haha.
:)
Easy fix, hey?

I'm the Janitor

The other day we were watching a movie in one of my education classes. It was a very insightful movie about how segregation still rears its ugly head in modern day America. There were a lot of things I agreed with.

And yet, something gnawed at me the whole time. The movie talked about how it was often assumed that people of certain ethnic backgrounds would be better off working with their hands, doing jobs such as janitor work or construction or potentially a trade. Consequently, in schools those people were often put into lower track courses, and did not end up going on to "bigger" things.

While I do agree that it is atrocious that a person be academically categorized by his ethnic background instead of his intellectual capabilities, I was very sad to see the disgust displayed for jobs like being a janitor or working with your hands. Our society has slowly shifted to see a college education followed by a "good" job as the only respectable track for a person. Being a janitor, a maid, a fast food worker, a physical laborer, a factory worker - all these things are looked down on as jobs.

As Christians, should we really let ourselves get pulled into that thinking? Why should we find a job mopping floors any less respectable than a job in an accounting firm? This system of "respectability" is something that we've created. Janitors, maids, fast food workers, and the like are a vital part of our society.

Am I suggesting that we shouldn't encourage students to reach high and get the most out of their education? Of course not! What I am suggesting is that we rethink how we view different jobs. Shouldn't a Christian be able to be content flipping burgers and do that for the glory of God? Now, when we've been given gifts in another area, great, let's use them. However, let's learn a little more respect for the jobs everyone else looks down on.

A thought for the day: If you were given a new job as a janitor in a high school, could you do it without feeling ashamed? Could you do it for the rest of your life and praise GOD with your work? Maybe it's time for us to double check how much of the world's way of thinking has entered our own thought patterns.

Hymns in the Dark

This week has been very, very busy. I think the honest truth is that I am a person that likes to have space in the day with nothing going on. I like a schedule, but not for every moment that I am awake. Probably, to the average person, this week would not have been daunting. However, being that I am an April, it was tiring.

One night this week, I was feeling particularly helpless. So, I called my dear friend Rosemary and we walked down to the soccer field. We sat in the dark and sang a few hymns. I love that. I love that part of being a Christian. I love that part of going to school with other Christians. I love how worship (be it prayer, singing hymns, or reading the Word) always brings you a sense of peace and joy. Not that any of those things are magical in and of themselves: but there is a powerful God that we encounter in a very real way through those means of worship.

The Holy Spirit has been working in some crazy ways. Firstly, in making me more and more aware of my sin. It stinks...., but it's great. The less confidence I have in the flesh, the more I trust in my True Anchor. It's painful to see how unrighteous you are. Secondly, the Spirit has been leading me exactly where He wants me. I can't tell you how many times that He has (literally) redirected my steps through some random event so that I run into someone that needs to talk. Even when I am not aware, He is at work.

I have a Living Hope. Awesome.

If you're praying for me, here are some ways you can pray:
1. Pray for my walk with the Lord. Ask Him to challenge me, to stretch me, but to help me hold on. Ask Him to break me off all the pride left in me and give me confidence through Jesus.
2. Pray for my little sister! She's doing great here at Covenant. Please keep praying for God to grow her.
3. Pray for my grandpa. He's been in a lot of pain from his back lately.
4. Pray for my relationship with my boyfriend. Ask the Lord to help us see how to best support each other, and just to guide our relationship where He wants it to go.
5. Pray for the students down in the apartments. Pray that God would pull our community together. (We have picnic on Sunday!)
6. Pray for my future, that God would take me wherever He wants me. Pray that I would truly be willing to go wherever He leads.

I hope you're all doing well!

Where am I going?

Where am I going? It's not at all that I feel at loss with what to do with my life. Well, at least not for lack of options. There are SO many things I would love to do. I would love to teach in the States. I would love to be a missionary to another country. I would love to go to school again and get another degree in counseling. I would love to work with kids in a non-school related program too. I would love to write. I would love to just be a mom and a wife. I would love to work with youth in a church. I would love to do so much.

But where is God going to take me? The honest truth, my friends, is I don't really know. I hoped that maybe this summer He would just put a place on my heart and I would know where I was going. I think we all just like to know what's going to happen next- it's a little bit of responsibility mixed with our sinful desire to play God and control and understand everything.

Today during Convocation (woohoo! 2010-2011 school year!), Dr. Haddad, a professor I highly respect, read from Hebrews 11. Verse eight stuck out to me: "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." Even Abraham did not understand what all God was up to. He did not even know where He was going! God does not always give us those hints as to where we are supposed to be. I was just so encouraged to hear that. I've just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other, pursuing a closer relationship with my Lord, desiring His will and His glory. Then, I will end up where I am supposed to be.

I realize that that is not the necessary main interpretation of that verse, but I think that I have every reason to draw huge comfort from it. Life is busy and good. Better yet, God is good.

Loving. Living. Loving living,
April

Little Sister's Here!

Well, I'm starting to feel good. The apartment is fully unpacked, we're just waiting on getting our curtains up. My little sister is here and in middle of orientation. I've gotten to see a LITTLE more of my boyfriend. :) Life is good.

The other night I was reading through Ruth. Originally, the plan was only a chapter, but you just can't stop in the middle of a story like that. It was really neat to ponder just how incredible the story really is. Ruth rejects the chance at a "normal" life with her own people to follow a foreign mother-in-law into hard circumstances. Not only that, but she also chooses to leave behind the gods she knew and follow the God of Israel. Throughout the book, Ruth's loyalty and dedication are hard to believe. I cannot fathom the amount of hard work that she willingly took on.

The the coolest part though is how you see the hint of Jesus, as the book ends with her descendants all the way to David. What an awesome way for God to honor her, by letting her be part of the line of Christ! Of course, there are many deeper parallels to the gospel, but I think we'll just scratch the surface for now.

A Week In

I have been in Georgia for a week now, just about. Wow! RA training has kept me super busy, just today I finally got all of my stuff unpacked in my apartment. (Pictures will come soon!) There are a million things I could say, but I want to get to bed early.

I do want to ask for your prayers quickly. Please just pray that God will help me to learn well during the rest of training, and that He will work through me. Pray that He would enable me to do a good job as an RA, but also keep me incredibly humble. Pray that the cross would be ever before me. Pray for my sanctification and God's glorification.

More stories and information on life will follow as soon as I get a chance. God is good!

Home

I've been home for six days now! It's hard to believe. It feels like I just got here. Life has been really busy for the past few days, and it doesn't really settle down.

I just had surgery on my knee yesterday. Praise God, it was much less serious than anticipated! I am looking at a quick recovery! Right now, of course, I am struggling to be patient with being out of commission, so I would still appreciate prayers! Please also pray that I can figure out how to squeeze in a doctor's appointment before I leave for school next week.

I am planning on continuing to blog this next year, about once a week. I may not be in Mexico anymore, but GOD still continues to teach me on a daily basis. I love to share all that I am learning. Any of you that would like are welcome to continue to follow my blog.

I am also working (slow but sure) on a summary of the summer. I hope to post that on my blog for you all, but I will also be sending it out to those of you that so generously supported me financially and in prayer this summer. Thank you for being part of what God has done!

Until later!
April Joy

ATL

Hey friends!

I am back in the States safe and sound! I am currently in Atlanta attending "Debrief" with Mission to the World. Thus far, we have learned a lot about what to expect with readjusting to our own culture. Tomorrow night I fly back into Wisconsin. Thank you all for your prayers! Once I get settled in at home, I will post some more.

Adios

Well guys, this is it. Tonight I have one last sleepover with the older girls and tomorrow morning I leave for the States. I can't believe it. I will give you guys a thorough concluding blog when I get back, but for now just pray for the goodbyes and travel!

Sick

I thank the Lord that I have enjoyed such great health this summer so far. Of course, the summer wouldn’t have been complete without a little excitement. The past three days I have had some version of the flu. Needless to say, it’s been pretty miserable. However, even in my discomfort and frustration with being out of commission, the Lord continues to teach me things. For a long time, I was stuck on my back with not even enough energy to read. Lying there, I was able to think a lot about suffering in general. How incredible that Christ persisted through such unimaginable suffering when He could have put an end to it at any second. What a Savior!

I was talking with one of the girls the other day. She was not in the best of moods, so I asked her if she was okay. She asked me why it mattered to me. I told her that I was her friend, and she was important to me. She sharply told me that I was not her friend-- I was just an intern that came for the summer and then left. Of course, I told her that whether or not she considered herself my friend, I loved her. Later on, she came up to me and gave me a long hug and talked to me for a while. I think that the long hug was an apology for being short. :) Nonetheless, those words were heavy words. Words that hinted at some of the pain these kids have gone through. Pain of people coming and going. Pain of people hurting them. Pain of families torn apart. Who can blame her for feeling that way?

The good news is that I was here this summer primarily to communicate the God loves these kids. Even if I cannot be a part of their lives forever, I hope that all those late night conversations and little moments talking about God will stick with them. I hope that when the kids look back on this summer, they will see that Jesus was at work in us eight interns. That’s what matters.

I have asked for prayer for this before, but I would like to ask it again. Please be praying that God would send more people here long term. There is such a need for discipleship! Please pray that God would even bring more Christians from the area to be involved at Casa Hogar. Pray that God will keep working when we are gone, just using different tools!

Pictures!

Hey guys! I am just going to share a few pictures with you for now! Hopefully soon I will get another good post about life up. In summary, things have been great!

Joker

This post is of little consequences, but I thought it might bring a smile to some of your faces.

One of the kids here at Casa Hogar has taken to calling me "joker" because I smile too much. What a laugh! I love these kids very much. They are all starting to tell me that I shouldn´t leave, though. It is hard! Keep praying for them!

Wednesday

WELL. It’s Wednesday. As they say, time flies when you’re having fun. Today, it is the short term team’s day off. Two of the other interns wanted to go with them, so it means a free day for the rest of us. After a nice bit of reading in bed in the early morning, I got up and did the dishes in the kitchen with Amanda. Some mornings, dishes for fifty kids can seem like a mountain. Today, though ,breakfast was pretty simple, so it did not take that long. After that, I set out to clean our rooms. I am feeling pretty accomplished right now!

Life has been really good here. With a team here again, it’s back to playing translator- but I am getting better at it! The team this week has been talking a lot with the kids about how precious they are in God’s sight. I hope they will really begin to grasp the concept. I love these kids so much. The biggest desire of my heart is that they will walk with Jesus all their lives. The other day one of the older girls said that although bad things had happened in her life, she was so thankful because otherwise she never would have come to Casa Hogar and met Jesus. Now THAT is a great testimony to this place.

I always have this routine with the little boys. I tell them that I love them. Then, some of them roll their eyes, but they all grin ear to ear. Then I ask them if they know who loves them even more. They know by now to tell me, “God.” Then I ask them how they know He loves them. “Because He sent his Son to die for me.” Yesterday, at the end of one such conversation, one of the little boys said, “Nunca te olvidaré!” (This means, “I will never forget you.”) Of course, I felt really special. My little day dream was interrupted, “porque eres un mes!” (This means, “Because you’re a month!”) Haha. He told me ever April he would remember me. What a sweetheart!

I know there are probably a million more stories I am forgetting to share. God is doing great things here, but in little ways. Please be praying that the Lord would piece together my many small conversations with the kids and work in their hearts. Pray that they would fully grasp the Gospel that they are hearing. Most of them have officially accepted Christ, but we all know that Christianity is not a onetime decision, it is a lifestyle-- saved by grace alone, and living by grace alone.

Keep praying for these precious kids! I have less than two weeks left... hard to believe. Pray for me too, haha, because I've already cried once! :) Pray that God would keep them on my heart so I will be faithful to pray for them. Pray that He will keep me leaning on Him. Pray that I will keep perservering in these last days. Pray that God would still do crazy stuff!

This morning, my book brought up a beautiful verse from Psalm 48: "For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our Guide even to the end."

Amen.

What God is Doing

The other night I got down on my knees (literally, this time) and asked the Lord to forgive me. Having only two and a half weeks left, I had an attitude of "what can I really do in two weeks?" Honestly, it is something I have often struggled with here. I repented of my attitude, and told Him that I knew He could do crazy things in two weeks, and that I was going to work hard and wait on Him.

Of course, He responded to my prayer by challenging me in so many ways. The street ministry staff asked me to give the Bible Lesson. I was so scared. I am a lot more comfortable working with the little kids, because my Spanish does not need to be that incredible. Working with teenage kids from the street scared me. What if I didn't remember how to say things? What if they didn't pay attention? None of the staff at the street ministry speak English, so I would be stuck.

Yet, God reminded me that I had promised I would not limit myself to what I am capable of doing, and instead I would remember that He can do anything through me. I agreed to do the lesson. I spent a lot of time praying and thinking about what to talk on. Eventually I narrowed it down to one idea. In a short prayer, I asked God to confirm it. I opened my Bible to the exact passage. While I am not a big fan of the "open the Bible and point the finger tactic," I was convinced. There we go.

The lesson today, with the help of the Lord, went wonderfully. All the words came out, the kids paid attention - even more so than they usually do. Whether it's because I am a blue eyed blond or because they really were interested, the listened. I am so thankful!

I have had a lot of good conversations lately. Not only that but "my" lesson for VBS (all of we interns had a day we were in charge of) went really well. My relationships with the kids are awesome. We took them to the beach yesterday and had so much fun. It is such a privilege to be able to tel these kids that I love them and then to tell them WHY I love them: because Jesus loved me first and because He loves them. Please keep praying that God will do crazy things in these last two weeks!

Finally, please pray that God will bring some of the street kids to a saving knowledge of Christ. A lot of them have heard the Gospel but it hasn't really hit them yet.

4th of July!

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. Whoohoo! I must admit, it was a little strange being in a different country on our day of independence. Despite the lack of grilled burgers and fireworks, we still managed to have a jolly time. Bekah Clark suggested we make a banner. It read “4 de Julio.” (Personally, I think it was a brilliant way to show our patriotic spirit in a way that still remembered we were in Mexico. Perhaps I am giving us too much credit though.) We marched over to Doug, our mentor’s house, with a few of the Casa Hogar kids and our banner, and serenaded the gate until his kids came running to unlock it. After that, the Sirvens (Doug’s family) was kind enough to pass out water and Yoli. We had a lot of laughs as we tried to teach one of the kids the national anthem.

Today we had our first day of activities with the little kids. I’m not going to lie, the first word that comes to my mind is “disaster.” Haha. They were just on edge today, and we had a lot of trouble getting them to behave. However, tomorrow is a new day. Please be praying for wisdom and patience for us. Trying to handle a group of twenty 4-11 year olds in a language that you aren’t fluent in is definitely hard. I am thankful for what I know of Spanish, but even more thankful for Rebekah Clark. She knows MUCH more than I do.

Honestly, while I don’t like hard days, it does make me thankful that I am not in this alone. It makes me think about the poem “Footprints.” For those of you unfamiliar with the poem, it talks about a man reviewing his life after he dies. In the majority of his life, there are two side-by-side sets of footprints, from God walking next to the man. The man asks God why sometimes he sees only one set of footprints in the sand. God replies, "That was when I carried you." I think today was a day where He “carried” me. I am so thankful to be walking next to my Savior.
Keep praying for these kids!

Here are a few pictures! (They are not from the 4th, just from random parts of the last few weeks.)

Whew!

Hi everyone!

I am so sorry I haven't written in a while. Life here has been really busy. Not only that, but the internet has been out due to a leak into the wireless router. While it is beautiful, rain messes up a lot of things here! Haha.

Things have been going really well. I definitely feel as though two months barely lets me get into things here. Sometimes I feel guilty that I am leaving in a few weeks, but I know that I shouldn't. I know this was where the Lord wanted me for two months, and after that I have a calling back in the U.S.

I have had a lot of good conversations lately, but these conversations have also confirmed my belief that there is a need for discipleship so much deeper than I can fill in a short term stay. Please be praying that the Lord would send someone to fill those needs that can be here long term.

My aunts and my grandpa made a book for the summer with a Bible verse for everyday. I always am so excited when I wake up to read it and be encouraged. Yesterday's verse was an encouragement for the weary soul: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6) It was JUST what I needed to hear.

Please continue praying for all of these kids. Since I am in their confidence, I can't share a lot of details, but there are so many of them that need prayer. I love these kids so much. Pretty soon, I think my heart is going to be in little pieces in all different parts of the world. Right now, there are bits in Georgia, Acapulco, Illinois, Wisconsin, and Indiana.

I am amazed by our patient and awesome God.

Next Summer

I feel like I am really starting to get into the swing of things here. Communication is still hard, but I am doing it. Last night I had a deeper conversation intermixed with reading the Bible for two hours with two of the older kids. I love these kids so much. The more I pray for a heart to love this place, the heavier my heart becomes for the people. Love is heavy.

A few of the little kids have started asking me if I am going to come back next summer. I always tell them that I do not know. It has been really hard here so far, but at the same time I love these kids SO much. Please be praying for wisdom in that regard. I don´t have to know yet if I should come back, but it is something I am going to have to do a lot of praying and thinking about.

There are so many needs that I cannot fill in two months, but I also need to remember that God does not operate on our time frame. He can do a lot in a month more. Please be praying that He will! Pray for courage and selfless love. Pray that I will love with HIS love.

Well, time´s about up in the internet cafe! Until later!

Buses, Spanish, and Jesus

I was writing the title for this, and I almost typed in "Jesus!" but I realized I had already titled a blog that way. I wondered if I should get more original and stop having "Jesus" in my titles - but then I realized that that's exactly what I want! Jesus everywhere. Not that I want to throw his name around in a flippant manner, but my true desire is that my time here be saturated with Jesus.

The Lord has really been teaching me a lot. I have been thinking about how I limit my conversations and interactions with people to what "I can do." The truth is, I am not limited to what I can do. I have a God who is able to do "immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine!" So, I prayed for courage and for words. In the past twenty four hours, I have had two opportunities to share with complete strangers about Jesus.

First, I was on the bus, sitting by myself away from the other interns. I was behind two women with a young baby. The Lord kept at me, "April, babies are great conversation starters..." Eventually, after a lot of prayer for courage to venture out with my Spanish, I began talking with them. I started by asking them how old the baby was and eventually asked them if she was going to be baptized. In Mexico, it is huge to baptize children; it is tradition. Of course, they told me yes in a Catholic church. So I began to talk with them about what they thought baptism was. I could give so many details, but to keep the story short, we ended up talking through basic beliefs about Christ. They believed that they needed Christ to get to heaven, but they also said that their good works could get them in. I shared with them how the Bible teaches that nothing we do merits salvation, that only through believing that Christ died for us can we enter heaven. After a long conversation, they promised me that they would read John 3 tonight. They seemed to have a very elementary understanding of Jesus, and I hope that our conversation leads them into the Word. Since they already "believed" in Jesus, all I could do was try to steer them toward a correct understanding of the only Way to heaven. It's all up to the Spirit now!

Then today, I had a HARD conversation on the beach with a gentleman. Please be praying for him! He has some very wrong beliefs about reincarnation and such. He was definitely not open to any other beliefs, but yet he really wanted to talk with me about beliefs. I asked him (in Spanish), "If you were wrong, would you want to know it?" He told me he was certain he knew the truth. I told him, "La verdad se llama Jesus Christ." (The truth's name is Jesus Christ.) Pray for all of these people, please!

Please continue to pray for courage for me, for drive to go beyond my potential and trust God to give me words. I am starting to really fall in love with these people, as I pray more and more that God will give me a heart for them.

In His hands I stand - broken and content.

Sobre El Puente!

This week I am helping out with the street child ministry, Sobre el Puente. To get there, we grab a bus and ride it for a long time. Buses in Acapulco has been one of my most interesting experiences so far. It's kind of fun! I love just watching all the colors of Mexico fly by the window.

I feel pretty comfortable at Casa Hogar now, but Sobre el Puente was a whole new experience. It's harder for me to understand a lot of the kids there - but I think it's just because they talk faster. I am getting there! This morning three of the boys, Rebecca, Simone, and I read through John 1. I'm hoping that the rest of the week will provide more opportunities to have conversations with the kids. Be praying!

Haha, so fireworks just went off. One of my friends sitting next to me (one of the guys here) decided to be funny and he convinced me that they were gunshots and it was typical here. Haha. The stinker.

Please continue to pray that I would live selflessly here and be constantly "making the most of every opportunity" as the Bible says. Some days I feel useful, others not so much. Hey, God works through the "unwise" of the world, right?

Here are a few pictures! (Sorry I can't get them to place themselves nicely in the text... but I figured you would like to see them anyway!)

Day Off

Today was our day off. Yay! While it's so great to be here at Casa Hogar, a little shut eye on the beach is great for your sanity. Before we took our beach siestas, we took eleven of the little boys to the beach for a few hours. They had so much fun. It was great to watch them laugh and play - and to play with them! They are so precious. Now that I have mastered their names, I am starting to get to know their personalities better.

After we took the boys back to Casa Hogar, we went back to nap on the beach for two hours. Despite several applications of sunscreen, I fried. Nuts. Oh well. My friend Pamela said that sunscreen just doesn't always work in Acapulco. Haha. What a bummer!

Then tonight, six of the interns and our friend Pamela went out for dinner. She has been SUCH a help to us! She speaks English very well and has taught us so many things. We had a great night.

Tomorrow is our day of rest, and I am so excited. Last Sunday, worship helped me so much to refocus and remember who it is that sustains me. There have been a lot of hard lessons to learn this week, and worship tomorrow will once again point me to all that matters: Jesus. The time to meditate and just praise Him in such a focused way is invaluable.

Next week, we have no short term group coming in. Usually, our job is to help them with construction until the kids get back from school. Since there is no group, I do not know yet if I will be helping out in the street child ministry, Sobre el Puente, or helping in the kitchen or what. We'll see!

You can all be praying as we try to figure out what we want to tackle this summer. The interns have spoken of a Bible study for the older girls, praise and worship nights once a week, Bible-focused time with the little ones (maybe story time?), and so many other great ideas. Pray for wisdom from the Spirit as we make decisions and implement formal plans - but also pray for wisdom in the little moments where the door opens for deep conversation with one of the kids.

God is at work!

Morning Breeze

There is such a nice breeze this morning! This is a picture of an iguana outside our room. Hehe! So fun. Anyway, this week I have "homework duty." Since there is no short term group in, schedules change a lot. Homework duty means I only have something from 5-7 or 7:30. Of course, as soon as the kids get home from school, I hang out with them. So, in the mornings I have been trying to do a lot of reading and working on Spanish. It's kind of nice to dabble in the world of study again. I really do enjoy it.

A few days ago, two of the kids (brother and sister) left Casa Hogar for good. It was really sad to see them go and to see the mixed emotions. They were sad to leave this place that they've been for so long, but yet they were going to be with family. Coming and going is a reality of life at Casa Hogar. Some kids still have parents, others don't. Some kids have been here almost all their lives, while others have not.

Life is hard here. Pray for the kids a lot, okay? I miss you all! :)

Another Happy Story!

This is kind of a continuation of yesterday's post, but oh well! I just wanted to quickly tell you guys about today! One of the boys hadn't gone too church in the morning, so I asked him to read the Bible with me for a while. He and one of the other guys I have been having good conversations with read the Bible with me and talked with me for an hour or so. We read Philippians 2 and they showed me a lot of different passages they liked and we had a great conversation.

One of the guys was talking about how easy it is to go to church and enjoy worship and then go to school and not live like a Christian. This is the kind of stuff I want to talk with them about! We talked about how amazing what God has done for us actually is. We talked about how we need to persevere in the faith. How awesome! All of these kids hear the Gospel at Casa Hogar, but they need people to dig deep and see where they are really at. They need discipleship. Some of them already know Jesus, some of them don't have a relationship with Him yet. Either way: please pray! Pray that tonight's conversations wouldn't end, that the Spirit will be at work.

AhhH! :) Pray. :)

Jesus!

I don't have a whole lot of time, so this will have to be a short summary. God is doing so much! At first things were really hard with the language barrier (even with the Spanish I know). I prayed a lot that God would still allow me to talk about Jesus with the kids and it's starting to happen.

Yesterday, S. (a 14 year old boy) taught me how to make a star out of paper and I was able to talk with him about the story of Jesus' birth and the star above his house. Then, I also got to read with B. (a four year old girl) and L. (a eight year old boy) from a children's story Bible and talk with them a little about what Jesus did.

Last night, one of the older girls asked me why I was always so happy and in a good mood. Why don't I get sad or grumpy? I told her the truth - sometimes I don't feel good, sometimes things are not easy BUT always, I can remember that Jesus has saved me and nothing surpasses that. We didn't get to talk for too long (we were having a sleepover). I am slowly breaking through with the older girls!

I also was able to give a Bible a brought with to one of the older boys who did not have one. (He's about 14). He promised me he would read it and already this morning he told me he read John 1 (I recommended he start in John.)

AHH! And all this in Spanish! God is at work! Please pray!

PRAY! :)

Oh, and I'm feeling great. This is where I belong right now. I miss you all!

Three Days In!

Right now I am sitting in the courtyard with Annie and Rebekah, accessing the wireless internet for the first time. Even though wireless is always available, I never seem to be able to make time for it so far. Still, it's just the beginning of getting adjusted.

We (Rebecca, Rebekah, Annie, Rachel, and I) arrived in Acapulco Friday afternoon. When we got to Casa Hogar, all the kids greeted us at the gate. That night was a flurry of learning names and practicing Spanish. We all struggled a little more with our Spanish than we anticipated. Still, we're learning!

Saturdays are our days off, so we started out by hanging out with the kids, a little orientation, and then one of the girls who's been here a while took us out in Acapulco and showed us the ropes. Now we know which buses to take, which not to, and other things like that!

Sunday we took all the kids to church. I opted not to grab an English translation device for the sermon. It was so hard! I am learning a lot though. It took me a while to break through with some of the kids, but they're all warming up and helping me improve my Spanish! I have heard a few of their stories, and the more I hear, the more I rejoice in our God who brought them here. For many of them, Casa Hogar was where they came to know the Lord.

Today, I was helping translate for a short term team that was here working with construction. Oh man! Talk about tiring! Please pray that the Lord will help me communicate well. I'll be working on my tool vocabulary!

Well, I need to head to bed. I will try to update this weekly! I hope you are all doing well!

In His love,
April

Training

This whole week so far was "prefield." Basically, the majority of the MTW interns met at a camp ground and went through training. We talked about everything from culture to health. It was definitely helpful, and good just to meet all sorts of people being sent all over. It's crazy to think how much bigger the picture is than I realize- God is going to do so much this summer!

Five out of eight girls that will be working together this summer were at prefield. We're already getting along well. We spent the last night just reading through the whole book of Philippians, sharing, thinking out loud, praying, and the like with a few other new friends. Wow, how cool is it to just "casually" read the Bible with brothers and sisters!

Our flight leaves at 12:10 this afternoon. Woohoo! I am scared (the kind of scared that makes your stomach tickle but says "bring it on") and excited. Who knows what will happen this summer. Whatever God plans to do, it will be wonderful to be a part of it.

Well! I have to finish packing and make sure that my suitcase isn't overweight! :) I hope you are all well!

Leaving!

I fly out at 6:25 a.m. tomorrow morning! Woohoo! I am so excited. Training will be in South Carolina until Friday, and then we're off to Mexico. Please be praying that we will learn a lot in training and be prepared well (as well as we can be.)

Guys, this is nuts. Oooh I just can't wait to see what God will do!

Prayer Requests

Here are some great ways to be praying for all of the interns at Casa Hogar:


1. Please pray that we would have pure motives in our ministry. To spend a summer in ministry is a privilege, but it is really easy to think of it as “our” work when it is HIS work. This is not about whether or not we can be “successful” missionaries; it is about obediently following His call. Pray that He will remind us of that constantly.

2. Please ask that God would use all of us interns to reach the children as well as to make an impact in the lives of the short term teams that come to visit. Ask the Lord to guide us by His Spirit as we jump into a new culture and try to minister. We're out of our league, but we're not alone!

3. Ask the Lord to make us all humble! We are interns because we need to learn how to do mission work! Please pray that we don’t think we are capable of doing this on our own. At the same time, please pray for confidence despite the many mistakes we are bound to make.

4. Please pray for our safety in travel and over the summer.

5. Please pray for our health! Mexico, I am sure, will bring on a whole new set of germs to fight off. Please ask for health so we can be putting our full energy into ministry. Please also pray for my knee (I have a torn meniscus). Please pray that it does not hinder my work too much and pray that the Lord would heal it so I do not need surgery when I get back! (I need to remember that His power is made perfect in weakness!)

6. Pray that He will be glorified!!!!

Goodbyes

Only three days until I leave! I cannot believe it. Last night I drove up to Oostburg to see one of my best friends in all the world: Kelly Smies! Normally I spend a good number of summer weekends at her place, but obviously that won't happen this summer. We had a good time. Today, while she was at work, I laid on the beach and read a book that I needed to read for work next year. I love when I can combine work and play!

Now, it's down to business. Whoo. Here goes, three days.

Prayer Request!

Hey everyone,

Well I had my physical therapy appointment today. Honestly, it was a little discouraging. Basically, my physical therapist told me that realistically I am going to need surgery when I get back. This injury is definitely going to leave me with some limitations, which will be hard. I won't be able to run around with the kids. If you guys would be praying for me - I am feeling really helpless and honestly just frustrated.

When we started out on this journey, Mission to the World's manual warned us that there would be opposition to our going. I guess I wasn't expecting it to be this strong. Yet, it is when we are weak that we are strong, right? I just need to keep retelling myself that.

Of course, I'm still praying that the Lord will heal it. All things are possible.

Even though I am a little discouraged about my knee, I am still SO excited that I leave soon! I can't believe it! :) It is going to be such a wonderful time!

I'm in His hands.

ONE WEEK!

In one week and a few hours, I will be on my way to the airport! It's hard to believe. I have a lot to accomplish in this week, but very doable. Please be praying for my knee. I have a physical therapy evaluation deal on Tuesday. If you guys would just pray that we would be able to figure out exercises that are doable in Mexico, that would be great! (Prayer for healing would also be appreciated!)

Well, I will blog more soon, I just wanted to give a quick update.

Relief!

I went to the doctor yesterday, following an MRI the previous day. Turns out, it looks like I did tear my lateral meniscus in my knee (and apparently must have originally strained my ACL too... I am SO glad it didn't tear!) Good news is (and I don't understand all of this) that it is torn different from what is normal and it may be healing itself. I get to start out with physical therapy, go to Mexico, and then re-evaluate when I am back. I still may need surgery eventually, but for now I am worry free!

It will limit how much I can do in Mexico to an extent. Basically the doctor said that any kind of squatting down or sharp turns have the potentially to lock my knee up and cause me a lot, lot of pain. So, prayers would be appreciated that I have no problems and things go smoothly!

It looks like my first PT appointment will be on Monday. We'll see how it goes!

I've started re-memorizing 1 Corinthians 13 in Spanish, and it's a lot of fun. It's cool memorizing verses in Spanish, because since I have to translate it in my head I think a lot about what the verse is actually saying. I don't know if that makes sense.

Well, 10 days!

Rediscovered

I got back home to find my room a mess. Of course, I was to blame for some of it, but it seemed to be the place to throw things when no one wanted them. I decided it was time for some deep cleaning! I rolled up my sleeves, literally took everything out of the room, and dusted and vacuumed and dusted some more. Then began the even more interesting process: de-clutterizing! (Yes, that's a word.)

I am now (three full trash bags later) half way done. I have to admit that I did get a little distracted. I was sorting through my old file cabinet and stumbled across my high-school testimony. Reading through it, as well as some of my other writings, I was convicted by my inexperienced high school girl words. As I reread those words from what seems like forever ago, I could hear the passion.

While I certainly have grown in many ways, my passion is not at the level it used to be. I think I have forgotten how drastically God changed me back in high school. I think I have lost the kind of awe that makes me cry when I read my Bible. Don't get me wrong, I love Him very much. Yet, I am just like the Israelites: I need a constant reminder of the amazing things God has done.

Oh, Abba, You are so faithful! Set my heart on fire, work by your Spirit so I may love You more fiercely! You are all that I am.

Friends, you can be praying: I have an MRI coming up this week to see if I injured my knee worse than expected. Pray that it is fixable but not a big deal!

HE is faithful!

Home!

I am home in Wisconsin! I just got back this afternoon. Now, a few weeks of packing and knocking off my colossal to-do list - and then it's off to Mexico! :)

Nothing to incredible to report. Exams were hard, but I did well enough on them all. I am thankful! Now, time with the family! I hope you are all well!

Stammering Tongue

There's a hymn, and I don't recall which, that talks about how our "stammering tongues" can't really express how incredible our God is. Every time I sing it, it really makes me think. The thing is, I don't really have a full enough understanding of just how true that statement is. I have the "head knowledge" that what Jesus Christ did for me is beyond words, but I don't really feel the weight of that truth always. I guess, if we really did, we would live a lot differently.

The other day, I was in Starbucks on an abnormally cold April day. There was an old homeless man sitting there with a blanket. I know that the better thing to do is to get homeless people connected with organizations that can really help them, but I couldn't do that for this guy at that moment. I didn't know where to send him, and I didn't have the time to drive him. (I was studying for my first day of exams.) So, I decided I would just offer to buy him a cup of coffee. Sure, it would not solve things, but a quick act of compassion accompanied by the Gospel (in my mind) is better than nothing.

As I sat down, handing him the piece of banana bread and coffee I had bought him, I began to talk with him. I am not sure if he had some mental problems or not, he was a lot older. I'm not going to lie, that was probably the least eloquent and most stammered version of the Gospel I have ever shared with anyone. He did not respond to it, but he thanked me for the coffee. After a friendly goodbye, I left, a little embarrassed at how terribly I had butchered my story - it all came out, but not very smoothly. However, the Lord totally used it to chide me. He reminded me that He saves souls, not me. It's not the eloquence of my words or the compelling way I tell the Gospel. Gospel is gospel. Sometimes when I share it, it goes well, sometimes it doesn't. However, my job is not to change hearts, it's simply to open my mouth and tell people what Jesus has done for me.

All of this, of course, made me think about Mexico. If I can't share the Gospel in English, how is it going to go in Spanish? Of course,I could almost hear the Lord laughing at me. That's not your problem, April, just go and be faithful. Haha, it's funny how often I need to be re-reminded that He asks my obedience, not my success.

The love of Jesus does not rely on the well-worded testimony of April Hoekstra to spread itself around the World. The Spirit is at work, where I can see and where I can't. Praise God!

100%

I have reached 100% for support! Praise God! I am so thankful for his provision through this all!

Thank you so much to all of you who have so generously support me, and more importantly, Kingdom work! I am so excited for what God is going to do this summer.

If you haven't received a prayer letter in the mail, you will shortly. This is exams week, so I am afraid that a few letters may not get sent out until next Friday. (Most of them are on their way though!)

I will keep you updated as I get ready to go! Praise the Lord with me for His provision! Thank you so much for your support and prayers!

Only $200 More!

Dear friends,

I am so excited! I only have $200 to go! I am so close! I am very confident that it will come in. I purchased my tickets to Atlanta today. From Atlanta, I go to pre-field training in South Carolina, followed by the much-anticipated flight to Acapulco! I am getting so excited!

I will be sending out a prayer later to you all soon! I hope you are well! Here's a sunset view from my window for your viewing pleasure...

Support Update!

Hey friends!

Wow, the Lord is just providing left and right! I am now at $5,690 out of approximately $6,300. Whew! This is great!

To share a little bit from everyday life: some good family friends, the Bosgrafs, are in town and we're going to grab lunch together today! I am so excited! :)

I hope you are all well.

I'll leave you with some verses that struck me last night (from Psalm 147):
9 He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.

10 His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of a man;

11 the LORD delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.

5K + April = not a good thing

This last weekend was the Mountain Top 5K! My boyfriend caught me in a moment of weakness a few days beforehand and (not in my right mind) I signed up. Haha. Josh and I run together occasionally, but I was in no way ready for this “race.” I put “race” in quotation marks because I don’t think I was moving fast enough to consider myself racing.

Josh promised to run one lap with me. Unknown to him, this year the whole race was only one lap. Hehe! However, I decided to be nice and I let him off the hook to run with the guys. I definitely run slower when he’s not with me, but that’s okay. He came back after he finished to run with me. (That’s how much slower I am! Ha!) I finished and drank large quantities of Poweraid. Haha. That night, I allowed myself all the dessert my little heart desired, since I had obviously burnt a HUGE amount of calories in my run. Haha. It was a nice thought.

Well, support raising for my summer in Mexico is going wonderfully. I am now at $5,050 out of $6,263. God is providing! Not only that, but I have at least $600 of verbal pledges coming in. God is so faithful! Please continue to pray that He will provide for the gap in tuition still left for next year. He always has. :)

You know, it is so great to be alive. I am really tired from a crazy weekend, but God is just SO good! I hope you are all well!

He is Faithful!

Well, friends, I have wonderful news!

I am at about 61% of what I am trying to raise. We're getting so close! I have a lot of verbal pledges that haven't come in yet as well, so I am feeling very good about this all!

Just for a peak into me, here’s a little bit of free verse that came spilling out. It’s nothing impressive as far as poetry goes, but I think it communicates what I was feeling and what the Lord was showing me! :)

“Context”

“You are weak, so weak”
The truth beats against me like an angry wave
“You are a failure, you are so dirty, you are broken”
More truth stings my face like a slap
But no truth should be spoken out of context

Weak, yes, but Strong in Him
Failure, yes, but He doesn’t judge me by my success
Dirty, yes, but washed by His blood
Broken, yes, but He’s holding me together
He is the context,
The constant, concrete context

I am because He is.
He rose so I could live.
Context.
It makes a world of difference; it pieces my life back together.

He is the context that all that I am is forever wrapped up in.
Everything makes so much more sense in Context.
In Context, broken glass is beautiful,
The shards of me reflecting His light
My Context.
They may not understand the Context, but they cannot take me out of my Context.
United with Christ has a deeper meaning.
Christ is my Context.

Sunshine

Hmm, it has just been lovely here on the mountain lately! I love it in the spring. The breeze was beautiful today and the sun was shining. It was a little cool, but that made for perfect running weather.

This weekend is the Leadership Conference. Since I'm working as an RA next year, that means my Saturday is full of seminars. Hey, I know they'll be great - I just will miss having Saturday to get my homework done. (Speaking of which, I need to get to my homework tonight!)

Support is getting there. I continue to make calls and have great conversations. I am nearing 50%. Whew. I'm just thankful that this is all in His hands! It's hard work. :)

Getting There!

Well friends,

I'm happy to report that I'm getting close to 40%. Please keep praying. I have about three weeks before I'm supposed to have 100%, so it's crunch time. Life is pretty crazy around here, between support raising and regular school stuff. HOWEVER, God is faithful! I know it's all going to be okay!

Easter Weekend was wonderful. The Lord definitely had me specifically in mind with Easter morning Sunday School. It was a much needed reminder of where my strength and my hope is: my Savior.

I hope you are all doing well!

Another Update!

Wow, circumstances can change quickly! Thanks to a lot of generosity, I am now at a little over 35%!Praise God!

I am headed home with my boyfriend to Augusta, GA for Easter weekend. I am really looking forward to the long weekend. I hope all of you have a wonderful time of remembering what our Savior did for us - and being reminded of what it means to follow that same Savior everyday. (Plus, I hope you enjoy the beautiful weather!)

Support Update

I am about 20% of the way there! To all of my generous supporters, thank you so much! I am getting so excited for what God is going to teach me and do through me this summer.

The Lord is still teaching me to really trust Him financially! I was planning on going to give plasma this morning to make some more money for next year's tuition, but I woke up with the beginnings of a cold. (You can't give plasma when you're sick or getting sick.) During breakfast, it dawned on me that the Lord was probably just reminding me that I am not at all in control of my life. While I need to be responsible and do what I can to make money for next year, I need to trust in HIM not my own efforts.

I love how He teaches us in such gentle, personal ways. :)

Operation Mexico!

The other day one of my friends noted that with me "everything is an operation." I tend to call everything an operation, from "operation laundry" to "operation do-my-homework." I guess it just so happens to be one of my favorite phrases! I decided to look up the official definition of operation.

Dictionary.com (a very helpful tool :)) gives a definition of operation as military "campaign, mission, maneuver, or action." Of course, at first glance a trip to Mexico to work with orphans does not come off as a military mission. The funny thing is that there is a sense where it is a military campaign, a spiritual one. Certainly, there are going to be fun parts of my trip to Acapulco, but there are also going to be spiritual battles. The devil is not happy that another worker is being sent out into the harvest.

Ephesians 6:10-12 says, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

The good news is: I've got armor! Ephesians 6 goes on to say, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Encouraging! Pray for me as I learn more and more what it means to put on the full armor of God. If you look at the end of that passage, Paul asks the Ephesians to pray for him whenever he opens his mouth, that words may be given himheso that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel. He asks them to pray that he may declare it fearlessly, as he should.

At the start of this journey, I ask the same of you. Sure, there are a lot of things that I need prayer for, but first of all I'd like to ask you to pray for the Spirit to make me bold, both in Mexico and NOW. :)

All glory, praise, and honor to our Redeemer King!