Stammering Tongue

There's a hymn, and I don't recall which, that talks about how our "stammering tongues" can't really express how incredible our God is. Every time I sing it, it really makes me think. The thing is, I don't really have a full enough understanding of just how true that statement is. I have the "head knowledge" that what Jesus Christ did for me is beyond words, but I don't really feel the weight of that truth always. I guess, if we really did, we would live a lot differently.

The other day, I was in Starbucks on an abnormally cold April day. There was an old homeless man sitting there with a blanket. I know that the better thing to do is to get homeless people connected with organizations that can really help them, but I couldn't do that for this guy at that moment. I didn't know where to send him, and I didn't have the time to drive him. (I was studying for my first day of exams.) So, I decided I would just offer to buy him a cup of coffee. Sure, it would not solve things, but a quick act of compassion accompanied by the Gospel (in my mind) is better than nothing.

As I sat down, handing him the piece of banana bread and coffee I had bought him, I began to talk with him. I am not sure if he had some mental problems or not, he was a lot older. I'm not going to lie, that was probably the least eloquent and most stammered version of the Gospel I have ever shared with anyone. He did not respond to it, but he thanked me for the coffee. After a friendly goodbye, I left, a little embarrassed at how terribly I had butchered my story - it all came out, but not very smoothly. However, the Lord totally used it to chide me. He reminded me that He saves souls, not me. It's not the eloquence of my words or the compelling way I tell the Gospel. Gospel is gospel. Sometimes when I share it, it goes well, sometimes it doesn't. However, my job is not to change hearts, it's simply to open my mouth and tell people what Jesus has done for me.

All of this, of course, made me think about Mexico. If I can't share the Gospel in English, how is it going to go in Spanish? Of course,I could almost hear the Lord laughing at me. That's not your problem, April, just go and be faithful. Haha, it's funny how often I need to be re-reminded that He asks my obedience, not my success.

The love of Jesus does not rely on the well-worded testimony of April Hoekstra to spread itself around the World. The Spirit is at work, where I can see and where I can't. Praise God!