Last night, we watched "An Education," a newer film. Perhaps you haven't even heard of it. It hasn't been much publicized. The story, in short, is about a sixteen year old girl that gets involved with a much older guy. She falls in love with him (or maybe the party life of jazz concerts, trips to Paris, and pretty art.) The man is a con artist, and even when she finds out, he convinces her to stay with him--and he uses his con skills to reel in her parents. Maybe an hour into the movie, we find him telling his friend "she is the one" and asking her to marry him. Everyone is quite happy, and her parents even tell her to forsake her dreams of Oxford and marry him. She drops out of school, missing her last exams, and sets her life on course to marry this man. Sadly, she soon finds out he is currently married. It all blows up in her face, and she finds out she is not the first woman to have this promise. There is a good ending, which I appreciate, where she does find a way to take her exams and go to Oxford... but the movie left me sad.
It was so heavy. Why was it? Because an older man preyed on a naive younger girl? No. He was wrong, but he did have real feelings for her. Was it heavy because she gave away her future without knowing what she was doing, mirroring many youth today? No. It was heavy because there was no Jesus. All the parties, flowers, and concerts in the world-- all the charming men and fun friends-- they leave the world still largely bleak and heavy. We need Jesus!
The movie attempts to give another option for happiness. The girl visits her old English teacher in desperation at the end, finding her home bright, cheery and cozy-- with a few pieces of good art and a piano. The girl concludes that this is really what everyone needs: a nice, small space of their own.
I don't buy it.
It's Jesus.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Worship
In Colossians 3:17, we are told, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
The question: what does it mean to do everything in the name of Jesus. Josh picked my up from a babysitting job tonight, and as we drove back, I wondered:
Does "worship" always have to be a conscious, intellectual process? Or can I still be worshiping God when I am caught up in the bliss of making music? If my heart were first captive to Jesus, if my identity were to lie in him, if my life ambitions were grounded in him... and I got caught up in bliss... without an intentional, mental focus on Jesus... could it still be worship?
It would seem that it must be possible... because to both be thinking about Jesus and doing math equations in your head at the same time is impossible. There is no way to add two plus two but at the same moment be thinking about Jesus. It is possible to have thoughts of him mixed in between questions... but is that what worship is supposed to look like? Not to be irreverent, but let's think about this: Two plus two is four. Wow, it's awesome that God made the world so logical. Four plus four is eight. Man, I am so thankful that God is orderly.... That just seems impractical and ridiculous.
So. What is it? Where is the thing that turns a normal act into worship? Is it the motives? If I am learning math to learn how to better serve Jesus, it stands to reason that it would be worship. But it still leaves the question, is simply having Jesus-focused overarching motives doing everything in the name of Jesus? It is clearly not possible to have our sights 100% on Jesus in the middle of everything.
Perhaps you think I am over thinking.
Think again.
Example: Josh and I took my friend Cathy's two little boys bowling. I realized, an hour into bowling, that I had not once thought about Jesus in that hour. I had been focused on getting the boys to enjoy themselves and enjoy our company. While that is important... not thinking about Jesus once in a whole hour is pretty sad, no matter what my motives are. Ultimately, I should not want to just "make them happy," but I should want to draw them closer to Jesus.
Well, bedtime. The wheels keep turning. Maybe the answers will all come to me in a dream :P
The question: what does it mean to do everything in the name of Jesus. Josh picked my up from a babysitting job tonight, and as we drove back, I wondered:
Does "worship" always have to be a conscious, intellectual process? Or can I still be worshiping God when I am caught up in the bliss of making music? If my heart were first captive to Jesus, if my identity were to lie in him, if my life ambitions were grounded in him... and I got caught up in bliss... without an intentional, mental focus on Jesus... could it still be worship?
It would seem that it must be possible... because to both be thinking about Jesus and doing math equations in your head at the same time is impossible. There is no way to add two plus two but at the same moment be thinking about Jesus. It is possible to have thoughts of him mixed in between questions... but is that what worship is supposed to look like? Not to be irreverent, but let's think about this: Two plus two is four. Wow, it's awesome that God made the world so logical. Four plus four is eight. Man, I am so thankful that God is orderly.... That just seems impractical and ridiculous.
So. What is it? Where is the thing that turns a normal act into worship? Is it the motives? If I am learning math to learn how to better serve Jesus, it stands to reason that it would be worship. But it still leaves the question, is simply having Jesus-focused overarching motives doing everything in the name of Jesus? It is clearly not possible to have our sights 100% on Jesus in the middle of everything.
Perhaps you think I am over thinking.
Think again.
Example: Josh and I took my friend Cathy's two little boys bowling. I realized, an hour into bowling, that I had not once thought about Jesus in that hour. I had been focused on getting the boys to enjoy themselves and enjoy our company. While that is important... not thinking about Jesus once in a whole hour is pretty sad, no matter what my motives are. Ultimately, I should not want to just "make them happy," but I should want to draw them closer to Jesus.
Well, bedtime. The wheels keep turning. Maybe the answers will all come to me in a dream :P
Monday, February 14, 2011
Summer Job!
Well friends, I am waiting! I have an interview coming up on Friday for a job as a youth ministry intern in Florida, and I am waiting for a call from Winshape camps about a job. Soon the chips will fall in place! I am really excited to see where God takes me this summer. The cool thing is, if I am able to get either of these jobs, they will allow for at least a little time at home on either end of the summer. Not only that, but they will also be a great use of my gifts! We'll see.
As you can probably guess, after a lot of prayer, God did not put Mexico on my heart as "where I belong" for the summer. PLEASE continue to pray for those precious kids and all of my dear friends in Acapulco. Pray that the Lord uses other people to reach the kids at Casa Hogar and Sobre el Puente. Pray especially that the Lord gives wisdom to the leaders at Sobre el Puente as they deal with some hard things.
Valentine's Day is today. Good stuff! Unfortunately, both Josh and I are on duty--so it looks to be a quiet, separated night. He was a sweetheart and got me daisies (my favorite), but it looks like the real celebration of the day will be on Friday evening. That should be fun.
God is ever-faithful.
As you can probably guess, after a lot of prayer, God did not put Mexico on my heart as "where I belong" for the summer. PLEASE continue to pray for those precious kids and all of my dear friends in Acapulco. Pray that the Lord uses other people to reach the kids at Casa Hogar and Sobre el Puente. Pray especially that the Lord gives wisdom to the leaders at Sobre el Puente as they deal with some hard things.
Valentine's Day is today. Good stuff! Unfortunately, both Josh and I are on duty--so it looks to be a quiet, separated night. He was a sweetheart and got me daisies (my favorite), but it looks like the real celebration of the day will be on Friday evening. That should be fun.
God is ever-faithful.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Self-Sufficient... Not Even Close
My suspicion, of late, is that God is working on tearing down any notion of self-sufficiency that I possess. I am a generally responsible student, and I like to be "ahead." This semester, however, every time I catch up and start working ahead, the Lord brings some hard event to stop me in my tracks. The range of progress-stoppers have included important conversations, sprained ankles that distract, sickness, etc.
I get it, though. As soon as I start getting ahead in school, I stop realizing my need for Jesus as much. If I don't feel stressed, I am not as apt to realize that it's only Jesus that sustains me.
So, the question is: how do I learn to not only intellectually know that I am not self-sufficient, but to emotionally feel my inadequacy? Perhaps this series of... little encouragements from the Lord... perhaps, that will instill this in me.
Jesus, I know I need you. I know I need Your Spirit to help me through every aspect of my life if I'm serious about living for You. I know, Father, that You sustain my every breath. Help me feel it.
I get it, though. As soon as I start getting ahead in school, I stop realizing my need for Jesus as much. If I don't feel stressed, I am not as apt to realize that it's only Jesus that sustains me.
So, the question is: how do I learn to not only intellectually know that I am not self-sufficient, but to emotionally feel my inadequacy? Perhaps this series of... little encouragements from the Lord... perhaps, that will instill this in me.
Jesus, I know I need you. I know I need Your Spirit to help me through every aspect of my life if I'm serious about living for You. I know, Father, that You sustain my every breath. Help me feel it.
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Taste of My Own Medicine
Irony, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, means, "incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result." Life is full of irony; my life, in particular, is full of irony.
I am often asked for advice. Why people come to me, I am not all together sure. I do not come with a very qualified resumé for advice-giving. I am only twenty and consequently, I have had a limited number of life experiences. At the same time, I do believe that the Lord gives me insight and wisdom into other people's questions on frequent occasion.
Here comes the irony: more often than not, I end up receiving my own advice back. For example, one of my big "things" is that we should not hold ourselves responsible for the things which God does not hold us responsible. For example, the spiritual well-being of a friend. Sometimes, because we love the struggling friend, we hold a burden so heavy that we are constantly worrying about them and losing sleep over their problems. However, the truth is, we cannot change anything. God is the changer of hearts and the fixer of spiritual problems. We cannot hold ourselves responsible for something we cannot fix. We can simply be faithful in the responsibilities God has given us: to love that person and be a good friend. So, I am to pray for my spiritually struggling friend, realizing that I can't "fix" their problems. Jesus is the healer, not I!
I wonder if I could save us all a lot of trouble by just frequently giving myself a dose of my own advice? :)
I am often asked for advice. Why people come to me, I am not all together sure. I do not come with a very qualified resumé for advice-giving. I am only twenty and consequently, I have had a limited number of life experiences. At the same time, I do believe that the Lord gives me insight and wisdom into other people's questions on frequent occasion.
Here comes the irony: more often than not, I end up receiving my own advice back. For example, one of my big "things" is that we should not hold ourselves responsible for the things which God does not hold us responsible. For example, the spiritual well-being of a friend. Sometimes, because we love the struggling friend, we hold a burden so heavy that we are constantly worrying about them and losing sleep over their problems. However, the truth is, we cannot change anything. God is the changer of hearts and the fixer of spiritual problems. We cannot hold ourselves responsible for something we cannot fix. We can simply be faithful in the responsibilities God has given us: to love that person and be a good friend. So, I am to pray for my spiritually struggling friend, realizing that I can't "fix" their problems. Jesus is the healer, not I!
I wonder if I could save us all a lot of trouble by just frequently giving myself a dose of my own advice? :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Update
Life has been pretty crazy for the past few weeks. I really can't get into a lot of details, but to say the least, I've seen my need for the Spirit and the strength of God more than ever - and my need for Jesus too.
In my reading for my Essentials of Instruction class tonight, this quote caught my attention, "Knowledge is not just intellectual, it is also an affair of the heart." (Bruinsma, Steppingstones to Curriculum, p. 27) All I could say was: YES. Think about it.
In my reading for my Essentials of Instruction class tonight, this quote caught my attention, "Knowledge is not just intellectual, it is also an affair of the heart." (Bruinsma, Steppingstones to Curriculum, p. 27) All I could say was: YES. Think about it.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Letters to Yourself
One of the trends in Christian organizations and groups in the last decade has been the "letter to yourself." I've written many letters to myself about my expectations and fears as well as letters to myself about what I have learned. Recently, Mission to the World mailed me the letter I wrote myself when I returned from Mexico. This letter is all about learning. I thought I would share:
July 28, 2010
Whew! The summer in Mexico... it's kind of surreal that I just spent the summer in Mexico. It was really hard, but really awesome.
I learned that love is helping others toward God. I learned that persistent love has the victory. I learned that self-esteem must be based ONLY in Jesus. I learned that eh Word gives life and the Spirit gives courage. I learned that Jesus shines through a broken me. I learned that He is great.
I learned that I am a capable adult. I learned that missions is hard. I learned that I need Him more than I have yet grasped.
I saw my pride. I saw my weakness. But I saw that Jesus REALLY is in me--Christ in me.
I saw that all that matters i Jesus.
I want to live like this.
I don't want to settle for the average Christian life. I want all of my life to scream Jesus all of the time.
Are you walking worthy, April?
July 28, 2010
Whew! The summer in Mexico... it's kind of surreal that I just spent the summer in Mexico. It was really hard, but really awesome.
I learned that love is helping others toward God. I learned that persistent love has the victory. I learned that self-esteem must be based ONLY in Jesus. I learned that eh Word gives life and the Spirit gives courage. I learned that Jesus shines through a broken me. I learned that He is great.
I learned that I am a capable adult. I learned that missions is hard. I learned that I need Him more than I have yet grasped.
I saw my pride. I saw my weakness. But I saw that Jesus REALLY is in me--Christ in me.
I saw that all that matters i Jesus.
I want to live like this.
I don't want to settle for the average Christian life. I want all of my life to scream Jesus all of the time.
Are you walking worthy, April?
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